Okay. With a header like that you need a picture like  this…..

 

davidtennant3

 

Now, where was I ? Oh yes.

Yesterday I entered the Forbidden Zone. I had a sudden, overwhelming urge to bake. I should have ignored it but I had a packet of pecan nuts in my hand, flour, butter, sugar, eggs in the pantry and my brain went to Woman’s Day Land. I was going to bake something tasty and delicious.
I used to bake a lot. I made a mean mocha cookie. These days the urge hits me less, not just because of the mess and time with two toddlers aboard, but when I try something new it tends to turn out completely different (read nasty) to the glossy picture in the cook book.
But today I felt confident, I had my brown stuff together. I knew I could make a beautiful delicious batch of crunchy cookies for my family.

1Year Old sat in the high chair banging stuff, eating stuff and throwing stuff on the floor (in no particular order).
3 Year Old helped me make him some play dough then played with it while I made The World’s Most Delicious Cookies.
I felt like a CWA lady. Nothing could stop me.

 

kitchen

 

Golden Pecan Honey Cookies. Easy.
I followed all the steps.
 Oven on. Trays greased and lined.
Creamed butter and sugar. Added egg. Sifted in flour. Oops. Should have put the honey in with the butter and sugar. Bugger. No problem. I mixed it in with the flour. Straight out of the fridge honey doesn’t mix too well. Very lumpy. I mixed it some more then added crushed pecans. Not holding together too well. So I kneaded it together with my hands. Then I reread the recipe. Do not over mix. Damn. Never mind.
Put tablespoons of the mixture on trays allowing room for spreading. Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Mmmm. I was imagining beautiful golden, crunchy, nutty cookies. Yum.

I played with 3 Year Old who was baking playdough cookies.  I picked stuff up off the floor for 1 Year Old to keep banging, eating and throwing. I checked my cookies.

 They hadn’t spread. They looked decidedly uncookie-like. I returned them to the oven for a bit longer.  Maybe they’d miraculously reform into delicious treats. Not too long or they’d burn.

Golden Pecan Honey Cookies resembled small animal droppings. They were not crunchy or golden.
 3 Year Old ate one unenthusiastically. I had one. They tasted okay but they were  doughy in the middle. My husband returned home, looked at the shriveled lumps on the baking trays.
“What are those meant to be?”
“Cookies”
He laughed and wouldn’t try one. 3 Year Old wouldn’t eat any more of them either.

I no longer felt like a card carrying member of the CWA.

Later in the afternoon my 10 Year Old returned home from school. Hungry, ravenous willing to eat anything regardless of shape, smell or texture.
“What are those?”
“Pecan Clusters”
He ate five.
“Mmmm. Delicious. Thanks Mum!”
He took a large handful to school with him today. Bless him.

My 3 Year Old crumbled his up and hid it on the couch at morning tea today.

It’s all in the name.

cookie-monster-diet

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