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I have been troubled recently by a quote from the movie Forrest Gump. To tell the truth the whole movie troubles me. In fact any movie starring Tom Hanks troubles me. Any movie with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan makes me physically ill. Now you know.

But today I want to complain about Forrest Gump. I must. Poor old simple limpy Forrest Gump and his mother of a thousand platitudes. Or two that I can remember.
The one that has been bothering me recently is this:
 
Life is like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you’re going to get.
 
I’m sorry, but this is, quite clearly, a load of crap. Crap ‘cos it is a quote from Forrest Gump but also crap because every single box of chocolates that I have eaten has had a bit of shiny paper printed with all the pictures of the chocolates and a brief explanation of each chocolate and its filling.
So you know EXACTLY what you’re going to get and you can leave all the sickly strawberry creams and orange fondants and eat all the good ones.
Even the cheapest boxes of chocolates have this information printed on the lid or on the wrappers of the chocolates themselves.
So if life is NOT like a box of chocolates what is it like?
 
A cheap and nasty pinata from Target?
The morning after a drunken one night stand?
The Google search button?
 
Yes Forrest; stupid is as stupid does.
Tell your Momma to wake up and read the chocolate box lid.
 
Thanks for letting me share.
Maybe I’ll sleep tonight.
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